Meet Winston, Chief Exploration Companion
The Plantry Plant Co. · Personnel File No. 001
Winston
Chief Exploration Companion
Official portrait. The bow tie was his idea. We have learned not to argue.
A formal introduction from Mr. Phileas Plant —
Every expedition of consequence requires a companion of consequence. Darwin had his Beagle. Shackleton had his Endurance. I, dear reader, have something considerably better: a Boston Terrier in a red bow tie.
Allow me to present Winston, Chief Exploration Companion of The Plantry Plant Co. — a title he did not apply for, was not interviewed for, and yet holds with such unshakable gravity that no one has had the heart to explain how employment works.
Winston oversees our headquarters here in Liberty, Indiana (a home of 1900 vintage, which he considers his personal estate) alongside his brother and deputy, Silas. His qualifications are beyond dispute: an unblinking stare capable of unsettling even the most stubborn Monstera, ears that fold to a precise forty-five degrees of skepticism, and a snore that has been known to hasten germination. Science cannot confirm that last one. Winston does not require science's confirmation.
Duties of the Office
As recorded in the company ledger, and performed without exception
Sunbeam Quality Assurance. Every patch of morning light is personally tested for warmth and nap-worthiness before any plant is permitted to use it.
Propagation Station Supervision. He watches the Fluval Stratum cups with the intensity of a man expecting them to do something. They never do. He remains vigilant.
Greenhouse Security. Squirrels, delivery drivers, and suspicious leaves blowing across the yard are logged and vocally reported. No incident is too small.
Morale & Diplomatic Relations. At markets and gatherings, Winston serves as our ambassador. He accepts compliments on behalf of the entire company and considers ear scratches a form of official tribute.
Executive Napping. Someone must model the restorative stillness we ask of our dormant plants in winter. Winston has volunteered. Repeatedly. Daily.
Field documentation: the Companion surveying his territory. All appears to be in order.
It should be noted that Winston has never once watered a plant, potted a cutting, or contributed in any measurable way to the operation of this company. It should equally be noted that the operation of this company would be unthinkable without him.
Should you visit us at a market, do say hello. He will regard you solemnly, decide within three seconds that you are a lifelong friend, and expect you to conduct yourself accordingly.
Letters of Appointment · The Particulars
- Title: Chief Exploration Companion (self-appointed; ratified by unanimous vote of himself)
- Breed: Boston Terrier, tuxedo model — formalwear included at no additional charge
- Headquarters: Liberty, Indiana
- Deputy: Silas, Assistant Companion (profile forthcoming, pending his availability between naps)
- Compensation: Paid entirely in treats and unearned praise
— Yours in soil and sentiment (and, today, on behalf of a very good boy),
Mr. Phileas Plant
